97: The Identity Crisis – Living Someone Else’s Dream
In this episode, host Megan Babcock welcomes Kathleen Ahern for a candid and thought-provoking conversation about the ways cultural and parental expectations can shape, and often distort, our sense of identity. Kathleen shares her deeply personal journey growing up in a Filipino household where success was narrowly defined by academic achievement and careers in medicine or nursing.
As a teenager, she dreamed of becoming a writer, only to be met with dismissal and pressure to pursue a more “acceptable” path. Kathleen describes the weight of perfectionism, the unspoken rule that anything below a 90 percent was a failure, and the transactional nature of love and affirmation in her household. She recalls forging her mother’s signature on a failed assignment, a moment that illustrates how early fear of failure and shame took root in her life. The pressure to meet external standards gradually pulled her away from her authentic self, eventually leading her to a career in pediatric nursing that never felt like hers to begin with.
The conversation unpacks the emotional cost of living someone else’s dream. Kathleen shares the moment of clarity when she realized she could no longer stay in a role that drained her spirit. Stepping onto a telemetry unit, she knew deep down that this was not the life she was meant to live. Her courageous decision to walk away from a prescribed career path led her to explore her true identity, values, and voice.
As Part 1 concludes, listeners are left with a powerful reflection on the importance of breaking free from inherited narratives and reclaiming the parts of ourselves buried under years of pressure and performance. Kathleen’s story is an invitation to examine whose dreams we’re living—and to begin the process of writing our own.
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